Last year, before the first-ever North Fork Pride parade, Lori Panarello, who organized the parade and festival, and who owns Craft Hair in Mattituck, said she moved to the North Fork from Brooklyn 10 years ago and came to realize how many members of the LGBTQ community not only lived in the area but also own businesses. “There’s a lot of us out here,” she said.
For years, the idea of organizing a Pride parade has been on her mind, Panarello said.
“No one was stepping up to do anything,” she said. The ‘Don’t Say Gay’ bill — which would put the brakes on discussions of gender identity and sexual orientation in schools — along with the fact that some states are trying to abolish the rights of gay and transgender individuals, prompted Panarello to feel as though the time had come to act.
She reached out to her friends Robert Vitali and Brian Rosen at the LGBTQ Network, and together, they worked tirelessly to organize the parade. Many people in the Greenport community also helped, including Mayor Kevin Steussi and others including Linda Kessler, Sandra Benedetto of North Fork Women, and Sara Norton.
“They all jumped in and put in a tremendous amount of time and energy to help me get this together,” Panarello said. “I couldn’t be more proud that so many people stepped up in the business community, as well as sponsors and friends. The response has been amazing.”
Some, Panarello said, showed a bit of resistance, “politely declining” to hang posters in their windows. “But for the most part, about 98 percent have been so fantastic.”
In 2022, a Pride group marched in the Southold July 4 parade.
And recently, the 3rd Annual Hamptons Pride Parade drew thousands in East Hampton.
Panarello lived in Brooklyn with her wife Catherine Canade; the area, she said, was rich with diversity and inclusivity.
“In Brooklyn, we always thought of it as a bubble,” she said. “It’s one of the most inclusive places in New York.”
When she moved to the North Fork, Panarello said, at first, she noticed a “huge difference,” but with the pandemic sending many New York City residents to the area, there’s been a shift and discernible change, she said.
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So much so that, “in the middle of the biggest disaster of our lives, COVID,” Panarello still decided to take the leap and open the doors to her business. “I knew it was the right time, and we’re doing extremely well, thanks to the community.”
The time was also right for the parade, said Panarello, who previously served on the board of North Fork Women, an organization “committed to health advocacy and education. We develop activities and programs that foster the social and community life of lesbians on the North Fork,” the group’s mission statement said.
Although the process of organizing the event took about six months and was marked by challenges including permits, press and other tasks, Panarello said a team of volunteers was assembled to help.
“It takes a village, literally,” she said.
Panarello said she is not the type of person who seeks accolades. Her reasons for organizing the parade run deep and are marked by memories of the pain so many have endured for years.
“This parade means more to me than I can say — as a woman who had struggled for many, many years, with every other LGBTQ person, to come out and to be taken seriously on the one end. On the other end, I think this is critical to the future to the kids who have grown up on the North Fork,” she said. “Kids who’ve had no role models and still, to this day, have nowhere to turn. It’s a message that we are there for them.”
The news is filled with stories of suicides committed by tormented young people who have not been accepted by society or their families, Panarello said.
“That’s what this parade means to me,” she said. “It’s a celebration of the struggle of the past — and it’s important for the future. The important message is, people need to know what we’ve been through.”
Discrimination still cloaks daily life for many, even on the North Fork, she said.
Panarello added: “People should do the research and see what Pride means and why a Pride month is needed. People think gay pride is about dancing and singing in the street, and having fun. That’s not it. It’s so much deeper than that. Look at Stonewall. Look what people have been through over the years.”
The Stonewall riots followed a police raid of the gay establishment in Greenwich Village in 1969 and stand as a moment when people, long persecuted, stepped up to fight for equality and tolerance.
Even today, Panarello said, there are threats to overturn gay marriage — and trans kids are facing acts of violence and bullying.
“We’ve struggled for years and years, but this is really frightening,” Panarello said.
Looking back, Panarello noted just how recently it was that gay individuals couldn’t come out in the workplace, for fear of losing their livelihoods; they were also unable to receive unemployment, she said — and today, those same things are happening in the trans community, where individuals cannot find work or secure health insurance.
“It’s crazy that we treat other human beings in this way,” she said.
Panarello urged the community to attend the parade and festival, rain or shine. “Please come out and support us. It’s so important to join us and send a message that we are as important as any other human beings. We have a long road ahead of us and obviously, in light of what’s going on in the world today, we need as much support as possible.”
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